Discernment counseling in Centennial, CO and online
When one partner is leaning out of the marriage and the other wants to keep trying, traditional couples counseling often stalls. Discernment counseling is a short-term process that helps you both gain clarity and confidence about what comes next.
- Short-term, 1 to 5 sessions
- In person or online
- No pressure to decide either way
Is this for us?
Signs discernment counseling can help
- One of you is considering divorce and the other is not
- You are unsure whether your marriage can be saved
- Past counseling did not help or ended early
- One partner feels too hurt or tired to try again
- You want to make a decision you will not regret
- You are not sure couples counseling is worth trying again
The approach
How discernment counseling works
Discernment counseling was developed for mixed-agenda couples, where one partner is leaning out and one is leaning in. The goal is not to fix the marriage yet. It is to help each of you understand what happened and choose a path forward.
Step 1
Understand how you got here
Each partner shares their view of the marriage and what has contributed to the problems, including their own part.
Step 2
Talk with Phil one-on-one
Much of each session is spent individually with Phil, so the leaning-out partner can speak openly and the leaning-in partner can put their best foot forward.
Step 3
Choose a path forward
Couples typically land on one of three paths: keep things as they are, move toward separation, or commit to six months of couples counseling with divorce off the table.
Your first few sessions
What to expect in discernment counseling
A free phone consultation
A short call to make sure discernment counseling, rather than couples counseling, is the right fit.
A longer first session
The first session includes time together and time individually with each partner.
One session at a time
After each session you each decide whether to come back, for up to five sessions, in person in Centennial or online.
★★★★★
“We were not sure we had anything left to work with. Discernment counseling gave us the clarity to choose.”
S. & T. · Discernment counseling · [placeholder review]
Discernment counseling FAQs
How is this different from couples counseling?
Couples counseling assumes both partners want to work on the relationship. Discernment counseling is for when one partner is not sure. It does not try to solve problems yet; it helps you decide whether to try.
What if my spouse does not want to come?
Both partners need to attend. Many leaning-out partners agree because the process is short and does not pressure them to commit to fixing the marriage.
How many sessions will we need?
Between one and five. You each decide at the end of every session whether to continue.
Can we do discernment counseling online?
Yes. Telehealth sessions are available for clients living in Colorado, Arizona, Oregon, Florida, Washington, or Virginia.
What does a session cost?
Sessions are $175 for 45 minutes or $210 for 60 minutes. Phil is an out-of-network provider and can give you a superbill to submit to your insurance for possible reimbursement. HSA and FSA cards can often be used for therapy as well.
Related counseling services
Marriage Counseling
Help for married couples ready to rebuild trust, closeness, and teamwork.
Visit or reach out
Contact Phil Hartwick Counseling in Centennial, CO
Have a question or want to see if counseling is a good fit? Call, text, email, or book a free phone consultation. In-person sessions in Centennial and telehealth across CO, AZ, OR, FL and WA.
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Book a free discernment counseling consultation
A free, no-pressure phone consultation is the easiest way to see if working together feels right.